How a watermelon got stuck in a ‘millennial crisis’
How I Turned From a 'Watermelon' into a Purpose-Driven Person: A Personal Journey
Warning: this content involves self-doubt, transformation, growth, and accepting a millennial crisis.
Hi, I'm Agne, and just a few years ago, I was a watermelon. Not the actual fruit, of course, but a metaphor for the life I was living. On the outside, it seemed green and perfect, much like the uncut fruit. But on the inside, it was a different story.
Looking Green but Feeling Red
I was at the top of my game professionally, having climbed up the corporate ladder to become the Head of Transformation at the Mars Operation Center in Rotterdam at the tender age of 27. I could afford an apartment, money to travel, and even had a great boyfriend. Sounds perfect, right? Wrong.
Despite the seemingly perfect exterior, I was feeling red on the inside. Lined with self-doubt and questioning the value of my accomplishments, I felt like I was bleeding inside. Thoughts like "So what Agne you are holding this fancy job title?" and questions like "What is your purpose?" were constantly in my head. The answers, however, were elusive. I felt stuck in what I call the 'millennial crisis.'
Disrupting the Crisis
Realizing that a change of company or job wouldn't help, I decided to take a more unconventional path. A path towards self-reflection and healing. After careful consideration, I quit my corporate job and embraced the long-forgotten teenage dream of volunteering in Africa.
The idea of helping the local communities filled me with excitement and gave me a sense of purpose that had been missing. As an SEO-friendly article, let me tell you that getting out of your comfort zone is great for personal growth.
Learning from the Unexpected
However, my journey to rural Uganda brought more than just the intended help to the community. Living in a house without electricity and fetching water daily, I had time to reflect and think about my life. This is when I had my aha moment.
Finding Purpose
- I realized my main purpose was work and climbing the career ladder.
- I noticed my purpose could consist of different pieces, like a puzzle.
- I discovered that it's more fulfilling to have KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) that truly reflect my purpose.
Finding Balance
Since then, my life has been centered around these four puzzle pieces that make up my purpose.
1. Job: I work in a self-steering tech company, Schubert Phyllis, which I find exciting.
2. Social Work: I continue to work with two women groups in Uganda.
3. Personal Blog: I share my learnings and insights through my blog, nenita.com.
4. Mentorship: I co-founded the Baltics and Benelux's Business Network Organization and became a mentor for Lithuanians worldwide.
Tips and Takeaways
Take a mental break
Don't wait too long if you're feeling overwhelmed. Acknowledging that you're facing a problem puts you on the right path to solving it.
Engage in self-reflection
This helps you reconnect with your strengths, understand your passions better and unearth your unique purpose in life.
Create a unique dashboard
Set your own happiness KPIs. Do not be swayed by societal expectations.
Spread out your work
Enrich your life and work with spices of things you love to do. It could be volunteering, writing, mentoring or anything that makes you bloom.
Give back
You don't have to do something grand. Identify a cause that you are passionate about and start there.
In conclusion, remember that it's okay to feel like a watermelon sometimes but don't stay stuck. Reach out, share your story, and take steps to align yourself with your purpose. Feel free to stay in touch with me on social media and visit my website to support the disadvantaged women in Uganda I met during my journey.
In the words of Anne Frank, "No one has ever become poor from giving."
Video Transcription
So, hi, everyone. It's my pleasure to be here today with you. My name is Agnan. And today I will tell you my story of how I turned into a watermelon a couple of years ago. So what do I mean when I call myself a watermelon?Well, we all probably know the fruit of watermelon from the outside. You see a round green fruit, whereas if you want to taste it, you need to cut it. This is when you see the red inside, which is actually the biggest part of the watermelon. So a couple of years ago, I was exactly like a watermelon. If you saw it from the outside, my life looked like a green KPI. I had a wonderful career track at the age of 27. I was already promoted to be a head of transformation at Mars Operation Center in Rotterdam. This of course, secured me a very nice salary. I could afford to buy a nice apartment, money to travel and I even had a very handsome boyfriend. You could say, what more could you wish for Agne? However, if you peel that top layer off, you could see that I was mainly red to the outside. I was living that dream life but my inside was actually bleeding. I was constantly having inner discussions with the main team. So what, so what Agne you are holding this fancy job title? So what you earn this great salary? But last year you canceled your holidays even twice. Is this really meaningful? What you do at this corporate job?
Agne What is your purpose? Climbing the career ladder? I don't know. Each time I answered the same, I don't know. This is when I got stuck at this period of time, which I call a millennial crisis. It seems like it comes when you start questioning your purpose, it often happens after you have followed that happiness formula which brought you to a certain level. And then naturally you start to question its value proposition. Does more of that wealth increase the quality of your life in some cases? Could it even decrease it? You see, although the millennial crisis may sound as an exciting inner journey to self discovery. For many, it can be a rather rough drive, a rough ride. You start to challenge that life formula which has been ingrained in you for so long. And that is actually tough. And so the crisis sets in so far. The story sounds a bit sad. I was this watermelon full of juicy red feelings stuck in a millennial crisis, but this was not forever because I actually decided to do something about it. My answer to this situation was very simple, take a break because realistically at that time, I was so lost that I didn't have any better idea on how to overcome this crisis. I realized that changing a company or job will actually not solve this problem.
I really needed to do something else, probably something I have never tried before. So this is when I remembered uh that volunteering in Africa has been my teenage dream for years, which I actually have not yet materialized more. I thought about this idea. The more excited I got this idea of going there and helping local communities got me very excited. So I thought, why not? This was anyway on my bucket list. And if not now, then when after a couple of months of considerations, I decided to take this step. I quitted my corporate job at Maersk and went to volunteer in rural Uganda. I was working with two women groups who are making handcrafts such as these beautiful bracelets from various locally available resources. My assignment was quite businesslike just in a very different environment to which I was used to here in Europe. My work was there all about how I could help women to sell more handcrafts that they could earn more money while I was leaving my corporate job. I had a very strong belief at that time that my purpose will naturally come. Once I exchange this money driven corporate world to pure volunteering work. However, everything turned out to be slightly different. Although I went to Uganda with an intent to work for the local communities only and help them. Uh, a lot I brought way more learnings for myself that I could ever wished for.
Not only did I experience what it feels like to live in a house without electricity where you need to fetch your own water, do laundry with your hands and cook on fire. I also learned a lot through this experience about myself while living in Uganda. I finally had enough time to clear my head to reflect on my life and decide what is going to be my next step. This whole period taught me one very, very important lesson which actually might sound like common sense to you. But for me at that time, it was like a big aha moment. I realized that the main reason why I became a watermelon stuck in a millennial crisis was because my purpose was just one thing work climbing the Korea Ladder. In fact, I was not even thinking much, what was my purpose before I was going like on autopilot. It felt like a no brainer to focus mainly on your work because naturally you also spend most of your time there. This insight helped me a lot to realize that your purpose can be different. For example, like a puzzle consisting of different pieces. So today I like to talk about my purpose as four pu uh puzzle pieces. Indeed, work is very important and I'm very happy to work for a wonderful self staring technology company, Schubert Phyllis with even my own created title, a digital transformation consultant, which I find very exciting. My desire to help others also didn't disappear.
So I continue working with the integrated uh villages NGO by selling bracelets with a story and creating business education training material for women entrepreneurs. On top of that, after I went through this uh rather rough millennial crisis uh journey, I almost feel obliged to share my learnings and insights with others. I do this by writing my uh personal blog, nenita.com. Eventually. Uh this year, I also co-founded the Baltics and Benelux's Business Network Organization and joined the LT big Brother NGO to become a mentor for Lithuanians around the world as a as a way to give back more to my home country, Lithuania. This updated and upgraded purpose puzzle made me a way more balanced person. I actually don't feel like a watermelon anymore. Not everything is of course perfect. And I still have many cloudy days, but I don't feel anything similar to the crisis which I experienced before. Sometimes I have a very rough week at work and I feel terrible. But on weekends, I call the integrated villages, NGO, we discuss the progress of the women's businesses and my energy increases again and sometimes it's vice versa. So it seems like a combination of various activities and not only focusing on my work, 100% help me to find balance, which works for me. At least for now. I'm very much aware that my purpose puzzle will evolve over the time and I find it uh normal.
So to summarize my personal story, I wish we live in this perfect world. And nobody here is a watermelon stuck in a millennial crisis as I was. But as we all know, perfect barely exists. So if you do feel something relatable to my story, I would like to share a couple of learnings from my journey, which you might find insightful for yourself. So firstly, if you do feel like a watermelon, please don't wait too long and do something about it. I would highly advise on taking a mental break and not being afraid of it admitting that something doesn't go well here and you are taking a pause instead of moving forward. Believe me in the long term, this will help you enormously, don't be afraid to feel like a failure and try to disconnect yourself from the social media or that peer pressure of looking on the good and moving forward for me. A break was about going to rural Uganda to volunteer with women, but it doesn't need to be such a drastic decision for you. You can take a short sabbatical leave disconnect during longer holidays or do whatever it fits you to take that mental pause. It's important though that you use this time wisely naturally. In the beginning, you will probably need a bit of time just to completely disconnect yourself with what was bothering you before it can be maybe your job or relationship afterwards.
I would advise to move towards a deeper self reflection phase. This is where you try to sort of uh newly rediscover yourself by looking into your strengths, current or old passions and feedback from others. You might do it. Um You might do this process by yourself or ask a professional to guide you for me. For example, uh reading psychology books and doing various personality tests helped me a lot. I do need to admit that. Usually it's a tough process because you touch upon things which can be painful. Often they come from your childhood the way you grew up and that is tough. Although it can be uh it can become a rough journey. I believe it's necessary for your personal uh growth. Many athletes often say that no pain, no game. So it's the same here. So again, don't be afraid to take a break. It's a perfect opportunity to reflect and better understand what you want in your life. During my self reflection, I realized that one of the causes why I became a watermelon stuck in a millennial crisis was due to the following. The what I call the standard happiness. Kpis think of a salary level job title square meters of your house in a prestigious neighborhood amount of Instagram followers, number of countries you traveled, all the brands you wear. Many of us grew up with an engraved view um that this makes us happy.
So it's natural that many of us chase this standard happiness, Kpis. However often the most perfect looking lives, I actually like watermelon. So really think about the Kpis, you choose to measure in your life because they drive your behavior and don't be afraid to revise your dashboard and select the Kpis which make you happy and not your parents, friends or society. It's way more fun for yourself to have Kpis, which contribute to your purpose rather than the well looking life from the outside. In my case, I added a couple of new Kpis to my dashboard which better reflect my current uh purpose puzzle. So for example, a percentage of salary donated to integrated villages NGO to support new business ideas, revenue generated for selling bracelets with a story. A number of mentees, I coach over a year and helping them to grow in the personal journey. I like these Kpis much more than my previous ones looking poorly to salary or job title. And my last advice would be about looking into your work. When I say work, I don't only mean your job for which you are paid. Work also counts when you do other activities in your life. I learned that if you are not happy with your current purpose puzzle. There is a small trick which can help you if you are feeling like a watermelon stuck in a millennial crisis.
Actually, maybe you don't even need to take a break or revise your Kpis dashboard, but rather start spreading out your work into more areas. So for example, when I was leaving my corporate job at Maersk, I was quite certain that I will never come back to business world. However, when I was in Uganda, I pretty quickly realized that actually I really like my consultant work and there was nothing wrong there. I simply lacked some additional what I call spices, which w which would add more meaning to my life. This is when I realized that if I can combine my consultant work with working for a good cause I would be much happier person and this is exactly what I did. So next to my current job, I work with the integrated villages NGO and gives me and it gives me the type of energy which sometimes I cannot find at my job, which is perfectly fine. I think it's extremely hard to find that one job which will fill your all needs and desires. So why not spread it out over a couple of work activities? I love actually a quote from Anne Frank, which she wrote in her diary. No one has ever become poor from giving. I believe we have so many problems in the world that if each one of us, picks at least a small priest and tries to tackle it. We can become a much better world personally.
I'm aware that I cannot save the whole world or even the Uganda or even Masaka area. And that's ok. I support two women groups only and that's ok. That's enough for now. I have an additional advice here. So if you don't know where to start, look up United Nations, 17 Sustainable Development Goals, check them out and pick up one or two with which you can relate the most and then start working on something meaningful with a local NGO or social uh enterprise. Believe me giving to others is so much more fun than receiving. So uh that's it. End of my story. Thank you for your time and listening to my story, if you would like to stay in touch with me, I'm almost everywhere on social media. So feel free to get in touch with me via your favorite channel. And on top of that, if you would like to do a small action to support a good cause I would encourage you to scan this QR code or simply visit my website where you can purchase a bracelet with the story. This is actually the initiative I founded after I came back from Uganda as a way to continue supporting the disadvantaged woman I met there. All the bracelets are made from recycled paper and we use all the money from your purchase to find new business ideas for women.
OK, so I see a question from era how people reacted when you started to share your story, Mira, I'm not sure I fully understand your question. Which exact story you mean? Uh the Humira arrives when I came back from Uganda. So I think uh there were different reactions from different people. Uh So I think I met lots of curious people who were really curious uh what I did there and uh how life feels like living in Uganda. There was also a group of people who were interested. What did I experience personally? So how did it go to discover that purpose? Because I've also been told you in a story that um I went there also with that sort of purpose, discovery uh goal. Uh So this is when actually it even triggered me to start writing my blog because people started to ask more like from a personal perspective, what I uh what I experienced. But in general, I would say I really received uh lots of curiosity. OK? I think we are not having any other questions. So again, thank you for listening. And if you would like to let's stay in touch and I hope to see you in uh other sessions. Bye.