I'm really excited about being here and about this particular topic. Um because it's sort of, it's near and dear to my heart in a lot of different ways. So I of course, have a boss. Um, and I've been a boss, um and I am a boss.So I really want this, there's a relationship here that we, we kind of take for granted sometimes and, and, and it's so how to manage your boss, especially if you are, if you are new to the industry, right? This is your first job, uh your middle care, your mid career, you're at the later stages of your career, but you're really wanting to make a jump or you're going from industry to industry, you are still probably going to have someone who you report to in some way, shape or form.

And so this is, this is, this is key and it's crucial. So I'm really excited to be the person to bring you a couple of different steps that I know that have, that I've used that actually really work for me. Um Take good, take a couple of good notes, ask some questions and, and let's just let's just talk about it. Um So you guys know who I am. I'll just go through this a little briefly because, you know, one per a person is, is a, is a myriad of, of a lot of different things. So I'm an engineer. I'm a speaker. I'm a podcast host. I'm newly an author. Um I do all the things as it relates to stem and tech and especially around women and uh women of color because that's my group. I'm a black woman engineer. So um I really want to help us reproduce ourselves and get more women in general into tech and stem careers. Um But I'm also focused mainly on women of color because there's such a, a dearth of us. So um here's where to find me. If you're looking, if you're looking for me, these are places you can find me. Um You can find me on Instagram and Twitter as the nerdy stem queen and so on and so forth. But let's get it moving. OK.

So this is about how you manage up because that's the thing, right? You wanna, you want to manage up, your boss is the person who supervises you, who manages you, who's, who gives you direction and is giving you projects and all those kinds of things. So how do you manage up? So the first thing I'm going to ask you to do is do a self check first and what, what that means is, is to really try to figure out what your purpose is, right? Where are you going? What are your goals? Um, what are the things you're trying to accomplish in six months? I want to fill in the blank for yourself there in a year. I want to have certifications. I want to have traveled. I want to do training. I want to have completed two projects. I want, you know, so you need to figure out what your motivation is for being in the job that you are currently in. I think that that's a good first step about how you approach your boss and how you approach your job in general is to know your own motivation. Is, is it just to get your foot in the door? Well, then what does that look like? What does getting your foot in the door? Really, really mean? So you got to be clear about what's happening inside your internal motivation. What is your intrinsic reason for being at this place at this job doing this particular thing?

And so that, that to, to me means that you, you have clarity about who you are and what you're doing in that space. The second thing that I think is really, really, really important is a, is to know your boss's expectations. This is the thing that I think gets overlooked probably more than anything else. Um And I'm gonna talk to you about AAA couple of things that I think are also overlooked in this relationship that you're having with your boss. If you, you have to know his or her motivation, what are his goals? What are his or her goals? What, what are the things that they're trying to accomplish? What's their, what's next? Maybe they want to move to senior manager, maybe they want to go become their own CEO, maybe they want to move to XYZ. And so then that sort of gives you once you know those things, it gives you the opportunity to really think about how you can help that person if you're so inclined to do. So, um make make sure that they're meeting their expectations and how does that help you? Of course, because you already know what your expectations are and then you need to set your own expectations. So if these are his or hers, then here are mine, right? So, in regard to that and so I think that this, this helps, it's a level setting thing.

So you understand their motivations, you understand their expectations, you also understand that you should ask what their expectations are of you. Um Because this is the thing that we sort of assume. Oh, well, you know, the, the job description says I'll be responsible for XYZ 123.

Well, what exactly do those things look like in his or her mind? Right. What does that mean? Am I turning in a report every week? Uh does that mean do we do a check in monthly. Uh, does that mean, you know, what does it mean? So be very clear in, in expressing and in asking those questions with your boss. Um, because, you know, we can't, we can't really just assume that he's gonna tell us, right? Be forthright as, as we might think. So, ask those questions. Um, and then, then of course, uh, I go back to always be set your expectations and make sure that he or she knows what those expectations are as well. I think it's clear, I think it's, it's for you to be clear and honest about what you know about what you're what, what you're trying to do there. OK. So reverse the golden rules. This is the third thing, reverse the golden rule says, so the golden rule says, treat others as you would want to be treated. OK. Everybody knows the golden rule we've lived by it. It's the thing that we know to do, right? Well, reversing the golden rules that treat people the way they want to be treated. OK? And so I always use this example when I was a dean um at our local community college here, we um, a person was retiring.

Um And generally, when person retired, you gave them this big party and there was a sort of a send off, you brought their, you brought their family in and there was balloons and there was cake and there was all of that well, I had a faculty member who I knew that that was not what that just, it just wasn't who he was.

And so he put in his paperwork for retirement and I went and asked them, I said, I said, well, we can, you know, what is it you want? Like we, we do want to honor you, your service to the, to the college has been tremendous. Um, and we want to make sure that we, you know, we send you into a retirement in a way that honors who you are. And he, he looked at me and he was like doctor a I don't want to party. I don't want to party. He was like, what you can do is you can use those funds that you were going to use on that party. Hey, you know, give us a ticket or a plane ticket to, you know, wherever it is we want to go and, you know, I will pack up my office and I will be gone. That's all I want is like, I don't need a party. I said, ok, I respect that. I get that. And I'm glad I asked before. We, we did this thing that you would not have appreciated. So we ended up getting him a ticket, an open ticket where he could choose where he and his family went. And that's, that's how that happened. So you have to know that, hey, um everybody doesn't like the things that you, like, they're not gonna react to the things the way you would react. So you gotta treat people the way they want to be treated.

And I think that's also key um to having, to having a really good relationship with your boss if he knows and she knows that you respect them, that you respect the way they think or the way that what they believe, even though you may not agree and it, and it, and it goes against something that maybe you believe in, but you can respect that.

They have a difference. Um of opinion. I think that that will really help you in moving things forward and in managing your boss. Ok. So communication here is, this is really important and this is, of course, we, everybody's like, yes, I talk to my boss all the time, but this is more than just, you know, hey, how you doing today and talking about, you know, the kids, it's, it's for me it's like how does he or she receive information?

Ok. So let's talk about that. So some people are more verbal than others. Some people like written communications, some people are a hybrid mix of things. Um I let's just say some do something as simple as a um are you a caller or are you a texter? Right? So you would think that it's like, ok, what does it matter? But for some people, it's about how they receive and can take in information for me. I would rather you text me than call me. I honestly uh I will look at the phone, I will know what you calling and I will not pick up. It's just I don't want to talk to you. I will text with you though. So if you send me a text, hey, we're gonna do go with this happens. Um And maybe it is uh you know one of those conversations where you say, hey, we need to talk about this. I need to call you. If you send me a text with that message, then I will call you. Um So you need to know for your boss. Um What, how, how best to communicate with him. Now, if you are having a contentious relationship with your boss, communication is absolutely key. And I would suggest that you go into this idea. Um or, or into the idea of communication, thinking two ways, one verbal or texting or what are the other ways that they communicate best?

But I went back every everything, uh everything, every bit of communication you have with him or her up with a text. I mean, not with a text with an email. Um because I really believe that it is important that you record, you have a record of every single piece of your communication. So you go back to your desk, you've had a communication he or she has said, you know, XYZ 123 is due on the 15th or whatever, you know, the budget is XYZ. I would put it in an email, say per the conversation earlier conversation or however you want to word that we will be working on project XYZ, it will be due on the 15th and there's a budget of XYZ, right? So that you both are clear that this is what occurred and then ask for any clarification in writing to what you have given to him or her. That, that way there, there's a record of what has occurred, right? And so I think that's a, that's a, that's a way for you to cover yourself and for him or her to actually cover themselves. So, so that the communication becomes even more clear between the two of you.

So the other thing, the fifth thing is about be intentional about relationship building because again, this whole thing that we've been talking about, about managing up, about managing your boss is about having a relationship. So this is the part that I think people, people forget it like every, every interaction you have with a person. Um You are building some type of rapport, whether that's good, bad or indifferent with them. And rapport leads to a relationship whether that's good or bad or indifferent.

Um And it also leads to people having certain beliefs about you, whether those are, are, are false or real or imagined. Um But this is, you know, if you are intentional about the relationship that you are having with your boss and you, and you are upfront with your expectations, your communication methods, um your, um you know, you know, yourself well enough the relationship will develop and you guys will probably have be, be better able to, to work together because you have been intentional about the relationship um with him or her.

And so I, I think that there are a few other things that we're, I want to talk about. Um, but the last thing is you, you must do check in, check in with him or her about your performance. Hey, are you meeting the expectations, the goals that were set for you? And not just, not just the, the ones that were written down on your evaluation, your six months check in um your year review. Um We're talking about, have you met your, your expectations as a team member or as um as his subordinate or however you want to, to, to think about that. So you need to do check ins and whether again, whether the text check in, whether that's an email check in, we need to do the check in. And unfortunately, for, for a lot of us these days, those check ins are often initiated by the employee instead of the boss, but you still need to make sure that you are doing those things. Again, this is about being intentional about that relationship. And sometimes, you know, even in you know, a personal relationship, there's some, there's someone in that relationship that is the driver, right? That's the, I like to call it the, the person is the relationship keeper, right?

You in this instant are the relationship keeper and, and, and with the, with that role means that there are things that you have to do and this is one of them is, is being the one to do the check in. So there's a few other things that I really want to make sure that we discuss when we, when in terms of, of making sure that you are managing your boss. Um, in the right way, I really want you to make sure that you, um make sure that your boss knows that, that what you, I want to stress this, they know that you are off the clock at certain times that they, you, you can really give them all of your life, right? They need to know upfront that, hey, on Thursday, I take a swim class that starts at 630. So I need to be out of the office by 545. If I'm gonna make that class, I think that I don't think that that is too much for you to be able to ask your boss or tell your boss that you have a life outside of here. Um, my clo I clock out at this point. Um, my hours are this to this. I think that those are you need to, again, those are part of your clear expectations about what it is. Um, you're doing right. You have a life and so on.

Once your boss knows that there are boundaries, I think that there's a respect level there, they know that you're not, you, that, you know, that, that you're not that person that's just going to live for this job. You have a life outside of that. I think that, that also shows, I think that's also a strength um in particular for women because we don't often do that. Um We, we try to make arrangements, we'll find someone to pick up our kids. We will, we will rearrange our, our, our um you know, our out of out of office life um to accommodate um our bosses request sometimes and there are sometimes where no, I know it's just a no. Um I'm going to do this um because this is for my own self care, this is for my own health. This is what I want to do outside of here and you have every right to that. So um don't think, don't think that it makes you less of an employee or less of a group, uh a group member or a teammate for you to be able to say no, I can't make that. Um And I actually think it makes you a strong leader and a strong teammate um when you do those things. And so managing your boss is, is all about relationship building and we must be intentional about doing so.

So I wanna reiterate that um being able to manage your boss means being able to a first manage yourself, knowing what your own expectations are, knowing what your own beliefs are, knowing what your own future goals are as it relates to the, the role that you currently play and at the company that you are currently working for, it's also about knowing what your boss's expectations are for you and what his or her expectations are for himself.

It's also about setting expectations um for you on, on the team or in his, in his employee, but you also are setting expectations. So he knows upfront that these are the, these are the boundary levels be intentional about um treating him or her the way they want to be treated and have the expectations that he or she will do the same. Um I think those are the final things that I would like to say. And I uh hope that you guys have a couple of questions for me and say, I really thank you for your time. Here's where to find me again. If you're looking for me, you type in hashtag this nerdy stem queen, all of my posts should come up and I really enjoyed talking with you guys today. Thank you.