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Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand emotions, manage them, and use this awareness to guide decisions. While IQ points to how we think, EQ reveals how we feel.
EQ influences everything from how we handle stress to the quality of our closest relationships. And women, in fact, outperform men in leadership, the main consequence of healthy EQ. When a person has a higher EQ, they are more likely to resolve conflicts, adapt to change better, and maintain a balanced perspective in daily life.
What is high emotional intelligence? What is its role in work for women in tech? How can we strengthen EQ with nonintrusive, everyday habits?
Emotional Intelligence in a Nutshell
According to Bru-Luna et al. [1], emotional intelligence is "the ability to perceive, express, understand, and manage emotions." Daniel Goleman, a scientist who popularized this concept, described EQ as a set of skills that include self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation, and social skills. Goleman's approach quickly integrated into the mainstream, and many employers, schools, and professional environments now use EQ assessments.
Unlike IQ, which remains relatively stable, emotional intelligence can be developed throughout life. Tech employers often measure it through self-reporting tools, performance-based tasks, and real-world behavior. Most assessments evaluate five core components—self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation, and social skills—to identify strengths and areas for growth. You can explore one example with this emotional intelligence test.
Understanding EQ fundamentals is essential for anyone working in technology. The TalentSmart questionnaire showed that 90% of high performers possess high emotional intelligence [2], making it one of the most in-demand skills in the modern job market. Women with lower EQ tend to experience higher stress, less fulfilling relationships, and lower overall satisfaction.
For additional self-assessment tools and growth strategies, explore the WomenTech Emotional Empowerment Guide designed to support leadership development in women across tech.
What is High Emotional Intelligence? 5 Signs of High EQ in Women
High emotional intelligence is more than simply being “good with people.” As a woman in tech, having high EQ means you’re able to navigate challenges with emotional awareness, assert your needs, and create positive connections with others. You know how to stand up for yourself while also regulating your emotions and responding with empathy and respect.
Here are five key signs that indicate you demonstrate high emotional intelligence in both your professional and personal life:
Recognizing emotions with precision.
One of the strongest signs of high EQ is the ability to identify emotions accurately. For example, a person with lower EQ can call every negative thought "stress," but high EQ means that each nuanced emotion, such as feeling anxious, disappointed, or excited, is considered.
This skill belongs to the component of self-awareness and has broad effects across life. At work in technology, it prevents emotions from influencing objective decision-making. In relationships, it allows people to express needs clearly instead of becoming irritable or withdrawn. Research has shown that naming feelings reduces their intensity, which lowers stress [3].
Keeping calm and carrying on.
The ability to regulate emotional reactions during stress comes from self-regulation. An example of high self-regulation would be a yech employee who may feel criticized in a meeting but chooses to listen and reflect before disagreeing. It's a critical skill for good workplace relationships because it prevents hurtful words spoken in anger.
Motivating oneself, even when without external praise.
Higher emotional intelligence can also show itself in motivation, either in work or personal projects. Unlike people with low EQ, people with higher EQ are not driven by results or short-term satisfaction. Women with high EQ realize that hard work pays off and true satisfaction lies in the process.
Creating harmony in social interactions.
There are women around whom it's nice to be. They are talkative, remember small details about you, funny, but not obnoxious. It's highly likely that these women are highly emotionally intelligent.
This sign comes from the social skills component of EQ and shows in work by promoting collaboration rather than rivalry. But it also promotes healthy communication in relationships.
Balanced self-talk.
Finally, a less obvious but telling sign of high EQ is how someone speaks to themselves in difficult moments. This blends self-awareness with self-regulation. Jack Kornfield, a world-famous mindfulness and meditation teacher, said, "If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete."
Women usually experience more pressure from society and are more likely to engage in negative self-talk. But EQ prevents that. Because harsh self-criticism isn’t unproductive. Acknowledging mistakes but not defining yourself by them is a key to self-awareness.
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How to Improve Emotional Intelligence
According to different theories, emotional intelligence can be both an innate trait and a skillset. The latter opinion is more common, and it suggests that EQ can be strengthened through practice and intention. Below are strategies that target each EQ component, specifically for women in leadership, management, and STEM positions.
Naming emotions out loud
Differentiating between emotions has already been named a sign of a woman with high EQ. But it's also a great exercise for strengthening self-awareness.
Creating a habit to just randomly think about what you experience in the moment trains the brain to identify feelings faster and more accurately. For example, while commuting, pause and think: “I don’t feel rested, that’s why I may be less productive today. It’s okay because I’ll make sure to try my best.”
Remembering personal details
People feel seen and appreciated when someone else, especially a new acquaintance, remembers personal details about them. It means that even in everyday daily hustles, someone devotes some time and mind to thinking about them. Empathy is strengthened not only by listening but by remembering.
Make it a routine to note down small details people share. If you tend to forget everything after conversations, write these details down. A coworker mentioning their pet, a friend preparing for a job interview, a neighbor recovering from illness. Following up later (“How’s your dog adjusting?” or “How did the interview go?”) demonstrates genuine care.
Reframing “boring” tasks with meaning
It's easy to get lost in work and think, why am I even doing it. Every woman has values, but not every woman feels connected to them. This damages motivation because it feels like we're doing everything for nothing.
To build motivation, connect everyday tasks with values that matter to you. Instead of viewing cooking as “just dinner,” frame it as “caring for my family’s health.” Instead of forcing yourself to exercise, see it as “protecting my long-term energy and health so I can be present for friends and loved ones.”
Practicing micro-pauses before replying
Improving self-regulation can be as simple as training yourself to pause for two seconds before answering in tense situations. People tend to say offensive or impulsive things, when one deep breath is the only thing that prevents them from doing so. Studies have shown that not only emotional health and relationships with people are preserved, but judgments become clearer after a person pauses for 1.25 seconds [4].
Conclusion
High emotional intelligence shapes how we understand ourselves, relate to others, and respond to challenges. Unlike IQ, EQ can grow steadily through practice, making it one of the most adaptable life skills for women in positions where they may feel unwelcome.
FAQs
What does high EQ mean?
High EQ means that a person can easily recognise the emotions of others and respond to them with compassion while also protecting their own boundaries and needs. People with higher EQ don't avoid negative feelings altogether but handle them in a way that supports their growth.
What does a woman with high EQ look like?
A woman with high EQ usually appears calm under pressure, empathetic in conversations, and thoughtful in their decisions. Overall, they create an atmosphere of trust and respect. However, some people might feel intimidated by them because high EQ makes people confident, and other people might find it “obnoxious.”
Is it better to have high EQ or IQ?
Both matter for different life areas, but they serve different purposes. IQ measures reasoning and problem-solving, while EQ shapes how we handle feelings. Research shows that high EQ is often a stronger predictor of success in leadership, teamwork, and relationships. However, without a sufficient level of IQ, a person wouldn't be able to use their emotional intelligence. Ideally, the two complement each other.
How do I know if I have high EQ?
Reflect on how you handle stress, feedback, and conflict. Do people say you’re easy to talk to or supportive? These are signs of high EQ. For deeper insight, you can take an emotional intelligence test to see where your strengths and growth areas lie with popular evidence-based models.
Sources (Accessed August 2025):
Emotional Intelligence Measures: A Systematic Review. Healthcare (Basel). 2021. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8701889/
Why Emotional Intelligence Can Save Your Life? TalentSmartEQ. 2022. https://www.talentsmarteq.com/emotional-intelligence-can-boost-your-career-and-save-your-life/
Emotion Naming Impedes Both Cognitive Reappraisal and Mindful Acceptance Strategies of Emotion Regulation. Affect Science. 2021. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9383041/
Pause before action: Waiting short time as a simple and resource-rational boost. Scientific Reports. 2025. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-87119-z