For those of you that are just joining in, I'm so glad that you're here today. We are gonna be talking about how to create a highly engaged team.And my goal today is to be able to help you understand about what it is or what is needed to build that, engaged team through trust, through understanding behaviors, and then developing communication skills. So, with that today, I wanna make sure that, you understand we can't just build trust like you can pull a genie out of a bottle. It it takes work. And, so we're gonna uncover a little bit more about how you can build that trust. There's an equation that I have out there, so get your pen and paper ready for that equation. And, then as part of that, equation that I'm gonna tell you about in how to build trust, we're gonna be working through how do you uncover more about your team members that, can help you with understanding their behaviors and then developing those communication skills to enhance that trust.

So there everything is connected together as we work through this. There's different personality styles that we're gonna talk about just at a high, high level so that you have a glimpse into where we are going. So with that being said, if anybody is having difficulties seeing my screen or hearing me or anything, just let me know in the chat. I'll try and monitor that as we move along. Or if you have any questions there, you're certainly welcome to add the questions as you go through things. So let me turn things over here. So the thing that, I wanna ask you about, have you ever been in front of a room full of people and you felt like you didn't belong or you felt lonely or isolated.

You're looking around you and you're recognizing, yeah, work with these people, but I don't feel like I'm part of the team. I feel like I'm maybe more mechanical in my process and not really engaged in the group activities. And I can tell you that you're not alone. Seventy percent of employees feel lonely. In fact, in 2023, the surgeon general in The US had said that our biggest epidemic that we are in right now is loneliness. So it is a nationwide I know this is a global conference. I know that there are, areas outside of The US that are experiencing this as well. But as we work through this, I want you to know that you're not alone. It's almost three out of four people are feeling lonely. And so when you are pulling in this equation and focusing on how do we build trust, recognize that we're all in this together and we're all trying to feel how do we become part of an engaged team.

So with that perspective, the other part that is going on is AI, the world of AI. If you've been, listening to some of the other presentations you've been hearing, this onset of AI is coming. It's here. It's growing every day faster and faster. And with that, the need for being human is growing exponentially. And so when we talk about, oh, the job's gonna be eliminated because of AI, actually, maybe a current job, but there's so many more job opportunities out there. But the key is that need for critical thinking, that need for human behavior, human touch is gonna be ever more present, ever more, evolving as we grow. So don't walk away thinking, well, just because AI is taking over the world that we're not gonna have this issue anymore. It's actually gonna become even stronger.

And so, what I have for you today is we have the, sorry. I just wanna make sure I'm following with you. The equation. This is what I wanted you to write down. So for those of you that loved math, this might be it's probably not 100% accurate. But you know what? For illustration purposes, it's gonna get to a point today. So we're gonna talk about this equation. Three r plus b equals t for trust. And when you have trust, the sum of all of that gets to the, highly engaged team. So we're gonna break this down a little bit. What does this mean? So the r that I want you to do is write down reference. When you are getting together with your team, whether it's a brand new team or your existing team, the key is when you have somebody coming to the conference, to the meeting, to wherever you're having your discussion and getting to know that team member, you wanna understand their frame of reference.

How were they coming to the table? I give an example of there may be maybe you're a consultant or you're coming in as a new employee. Okay. The existing team member has their frame of reference. They've always done things this way for the last thirty years. And here you are as a new person coming to that team and someone needs to recognize that your perspective, your frame of reference is gonna be very different than the other person in that room. Even how you show up on a daily basis. If you're coming to the table all flurried because you just dropped off the kids and they weren't exactly running on time, we've all been there, and you're trying to hustle them along and then you're running into the room and you didn't have a chance to prepare for the meeting or prepare for meeting your new employees, you need to understand what was that frame of reference that you were coming in as you, meet those individuals.

So we'll talk a little bit about that more in a but that's the r. How are you, showing up in terms of if how you come to work? Internal and external factors play into that. The next thing I wanna talk about is respect. Do you respect your team members? I mean, really respect them. There are sometimes you're stepping in and saying, okay. They have some great ideas, but they haven't been around for a while, so I'm gonna go with this person. How do you step back and say, I wanna understand their frame of reference, asking the right questions so that I can respect them for what they are bringing to the table? We have so many different ways of coming to the table. I had an example where I was working with a client where they had a familial culture. In other words, it was very they prided themselves on being family oriented. The culture was about a family.

They all of the members that have been there, their average tenure was twenty years at the organization. They joined in in each other's weddings. They went on vacation together. They were godparents for children. That was a really, really strong family culture, and it was a publicly held company. And when we brought in some new employees and new consultants to help do a transformation, the respect wasn't there on both sides of the table because they didn't understand the reference, the frame of reference of people coming in. Some people came in with the background of having, twenty years at a consulting firm. Some people came in from a background of having just done this type of transformation in another organization. So until you understand that reference, it's difficult that frame of reference, it's difficult to respect them, but it's so important that you have that respect there.

And then the r is rapport. How are you developing a rapport? How are you getting to know that person, getting to know something about them that is really unique? We are all unique individuals. We're designed for community. Yes. But we are all unique individuals. Nobody has my hair color exactly. Guarantee it. Nobody has my background. Exactly. Guarantee it. But you may have similar, instances. You may have similar backgrounds, and that's okay. It gives you a commonality to connect. How do you understand and and get to know your team members, and those that are on this team that you're creating? How do you develop that rapport with them? You need to understand what motivates them. So we're talking about frame of reference. How are they coming in? Their respect. How are you working with them and appreciating and demonstrating that respect? And then how are you understanding what's motivating them? Those are the three r's.

So critical in understanding that. And then the component of the equation is belonging. How are you giving and appealing to that sense of belonging? Remember how I talked about in the in the earlier slide, 70% of us, have this sense of loneliness. Giving that sense of belonging, letting them feel heard is gonna help with addressing that loneliness. It's gonna help them feel like they are being heard and part of the team. When you have somebody that feels like they belong, they feel and feel is the operative word here. They feel like they're, appreciated and respected, then you're gonna bring them along a lot faster. So how do you do this?

You acknowledge, their statements, you acknowledge their ideas, their contributions, any way that they can contribute. Acknowledge them. Ask them the questions so that they feel like they are being heard. If the best way to do that is when they respond, like I said, acknowledge. Hey. You know what? That's a great idea. Never use the word but. That's a great idea, but what about this? Because that just shoots people down. I don't like the word but and I don't like the word wait. Two words that I try not to use because we wanna be able to be proactive, and we wanna encourage people to speak. And by saying the word but, that just shuts people down because it says, okay. My idea wasn't good enough.

So help them feel like they are belonging in that team. So I have an exercise for you. There's a lot of numbers on this screen, and what I need you to do is, I'm gonna give you a couple of seconds. For those of you that have done this before, just hold off. But there is a sequential pattern here, and I want you to see how far you can get in just five seconds starting with number one, which is in the upper left hand corner, and I want you to find where number two is, number three, and four, and five, and six, and so Find them in that order and see how far you can get when I say stop.

And we'll see you can put when I say stop in the chat the number that you get up to. K? So let's begin and no. Okay. We've got fifteen seconds in, and, let's see. How far did we get? I'm gonna try and get to the chat. And tell me, if you can put in what's the highest number did you that you got to. Did you get to 20 or, can we see some eighteens? Great. 22. Nice. And she couldn't find 13. Okay. Or maybe that's a omen. 22 seems to be the highest. Okay. So what if I told you that there's a method to this madness? And now I'm gonna ask you to do this again and recognize that there's a pattern. So if I put in the, bars, the horizontal and vertical bars, and tell you there's a pattern, One starts in the left, two and it's, clockwise, two in the right, three and then four and so Now I want you to see how far you can get, and we'll go with ten seconds.

Go. Okay. We're at ten seconds. You could see you got a lot further, didn't you? Lot further. So once we become aware of patterns, we know what to expect. Right? If you are looking for something and you have a blank slate with numbers just all over and you don't necessarily know what the structure is or what the pattern is, it becomes very difficult. You get frustrated, and you tend to wanna just say, is this really necessary? Sometimes it is. So any sort of guidance and tools that you can give yourself or your team members is helpful. And that's why I wanna bring this up now. Because with patterns, you're able to recognize, am I dealing with a Dalmatian versus a tiger? Am I dealing with a giraffe or a zebra?

Puts things into totally a different perspective. So communication patterns. This is important because when we get to the three r plus b equals trust, it's helpful to understand when you're doing them with the three r's, how do we work through those communication patterns? Same holds true from that number, exercise I gave you to what I'm giving you today. So have you ever run into and I'm gonna give you four different types of examples here of different people. Have you ever run into somebody that I call as Mary Dwired? They're driven. They drive projects forward. They're bold. They're decisive. They're comfortable being in control. And, we think about them as maybe the leader of the pack.

They may not necessarily be that, but we think that way because they kinda jump in and work through that. There's quite a few people there that I'm sure you can think of. Right? And don't say your boss or the person next to you or the person in your room. Let's just think in general terms. Okay? But now think about the next person who is fun loving, the life of the party great at telling stories or jokes, hopefully appropriate jokes. They tend to be the more charismatic individual on the team, and you are very easy to relate to them. Sometimes it can be a little over the top, but sometimes they are the glue that peep that holds people together.

We call them the I wired, and I'll get to that in a So you can start to see we already have two patterns. And while I personally like to say two points make a trend, I know it's not statistically significant, but the one is the s wired. So do you know anybody in your team that's very dedicated? They're heads down. They're loyal. They don't like to seek attention, but they are more the backbone of your team ensuring that, they are getting people to support you. They can be counted on for, various activities. Again, I like to say the very loyal group. And then the other one, the pattern, is the c pattern, c wired. And, these individuals, they're very neat, they're very organized, they're very structured. A has to equal, b has to equal c. So they love equations.

They love putting things together and ensuring that there's a road map and a plan. And so those are the c wire. They thrive in that environment. And those are the good people that I like to have on my team because I'm not c wired and I need people that help me stay organized. So the key that I'm gonna point out, you'll start to recognize it's a framework, d I s c. We'll talk about that even more here very quickly, but this is not meant to label us or put us in a box. It's really just to help us understand what some of the patterns are. So I don't want you to walk away thinking, oh, this is a d and I'm always gonna be a d or I'm always gonna be an I. No.

You can change and you can flex flex. So this is again just meant to have, a little bit more background. Now all of this work really shapes, is part of what shapes our personality from our hereditary to our environment to the role model. So things can change. People can change as it relates to their communication styles. And I just want you to be aware of that because it's not a be all end all or everything ends in this box and we have to stay within the lines. It's just a pattern that I want you to recognize. So looking at the individuals that you just learned about, let's think about a scenario. You're waiting in an elevator. The doors begin to open.

You secretly hope that no one is in the elevator, so you won't have to go through that awkward moment as you walk into the elevator trying to figure out, who or who's gonna talk to you or what they wanna say. So if you are going into that elevator and you are looking forward to really having a conversation, you're probably a little bit more outgoing and you probably are looking at being more of that I personality. But if you are an individual that you don't like to talk to strangers, you prefer to get in, put your head down, not look at anybody, just hope that you get to the floor very quickly, you're probably a little bit more reserved by nature and you tend to be more on the s and c side, the c wired or the s wired.

And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with it. It just gives you an example of how we can start to immediately see how people, operate once they're in and what their communication style is in the elevator. So when we look at, another example, remember how I talked about the individual that loves to, to be the organized one. Those are the people that you're gonna start to look for to say, where do they have all their lists, and do they have a to do list for their to do list? So those are the people that we can get some clues in terms of what their communication style is. So we got a clue in the elevator. We've got a clue in how they handle their vacations or their to do list.

We've got a clue in how people handle, behavior outside the office and what things look like there. So when you start to uncover the patterns, we can start to see some of the clues that are out there and maybe even just starting with simple questions like this to get to know your team. Remember how we said build that rapport so that you can understand their communication styles, and tools to look for. So when we talked about the very one, what I refer to this as the dewired, some people say it's dominance or direct, but we'll just call it dewired. 3% of the population have these characteristics where they love to seek control, they're decisive, decisive, they're direct, they're results oriented, and, they tend to be more driven by authority. They embrace change. They help drive get results, getting results, and they're very comfortable responding to direct confrontation. Who likes that? Not very many. Right?

But their greatest fear, even though they may seem like they're taking over control of your team, their greatest fear is actually being taken advantage of. And so when you understand a little bit more about these people, now you understand, okay, this may be how they're naturally wired to communicate, but they also have fears. And so how do you work with, again, building that rapport, understanding their frame of reference, and, respecting them. Tell me a little bit about how you would be able to work with somebody in that d style that has that fear. Their strengths. They've got a lot of strengths, but they also have some obstacles. And we all have obstacles. We all have strengths. So how do we work through them in terms of recognizing what are the strengths, what are the obstacles, what are our fears, and how we work through them?

The one is when we get into a meeting and you've got a lot of discussion eye wired. They're persuasive. They're spontaneous. They're friendly. They enjoy the spotlight. Guess what? Only eleven percent of the population are in this eye category, eye wired. Some people say they're influential. Whatever word you wanna come up with with I, but we just like to say they're I wired. They love that friendly environment. They're always active. They're relationship oriented. They're highly animated in case you can't tell with my hand gestures where I fall. Great storytellers. They're great at the encouragement. But guess what? Their greatest fear is rejection or loss of approval. So this isn't gonna come out in a meeting, but if you understand your team and you see, oh, this person is a great storyteller and that person over there is great at taking control, what are their fears and how are you working with that?

Their strengths are all about, spontane spontaneity, creativity. They're inspirational. They're enthusiastic, which is great. They're very optimistic, sometimes too optimistic. That leads to some obstacles. They can come across very disorganized. They can be get they can be very distractive or impulsive, but that's where you start to pair them up with other individuals that have a little bit more strength to work with these, characteristics. So the s wired is the next one. This is the majority of us, almost. Technically speaking, only 69%. But out of all four quadrants, most of them are in the s. Most of you are in this s category. You're team oriented. You're you love the follow through, the loyalty, the acceptance. You're easygoing. You're agreeable. You're even paced. You're a good listener. You're compassionate, and you love peaceful relationships.

But your greatest fear is loss of security or, heaven forbid, confrontation. So if I pair you up with a dewired individual, you're probably not gonna work very well together. So I need to recognize I'm gonna pair you up with an I individual because that I wired person also believes in compassion and relationship building, and the two of you are gonna work very well together. Hard worker, close friendships, your steadiness, and so Great strengths to have. The obstacles is you may appear to be very slow paced and force a driver there that dewired individual. You can see where the conflict is gonna occur because you're steady, Steady Eddie, some people like to say to you, I'm a steady Eddie person. And I've got a d wired individual that I need results. I need results. I need results. And why aren't we getting results?

I can tell you me personally, when I'm under stress, I move from an I to a d. That's the clue that I always tell my team. If you want me to stay as an I, don't get me in a stressful situation. I just recognize it and then I have to step back and slowly say, okay. I gotta get back to the I wired because that's what naturally works best for me. Everybody's different though. Alright. The c wired is really those individuals. There's 17% of the population, so this is the highest. Compliant, analytical, they're planners. They love accuracy. And so everything has to foot. These are the individuals when I'm working with putting together a presentation and I have to document all my sources, I'm going to this person to say, I want you to read this and tell me if I have my foots my footings in my, my footer header, all my footnotes.

That's what I'm looking for. Accurate. If everything seems to make sense from page to page, every page has to stand alone. Does it are you able to pick up on the story line from each single page? So I love working with these individuals because they help me stay very focused, and they love they thrive on details. The more details you give them, the better. But their biggest fear is criticism. So the last thing I wanna do is come and say, oh, you missed a detail. Oh, that's gonna throw them off their rocker because they thrive in providing details. So you have to be careful in how you're providing constructive constructive feedback in working with them. Their strengths are they're self sacrificing.

They have deliver high quality work, very organized, planners, data driven, deep thinkers, very serious. But just because you're a serious thinker doesn't mean that you can't have a little bit of fun. But there are obstacles you can see here. We tend to overanalyze. So oftentimes, I'm pulling these people back to say, I love your work on the details, but I need it at a 10,000 foot view, not a 2,000 or a two foot view. So I'm gonna pull you up, and I don't need you to over analyze. I just need for an executive, high level billboard conversation, seven words or less. How do I break this down? So those are the types of individuals that I rely on to help me pull this all together, but also step in and say, you know, we we just have to manage expectations.

So, when we look at all of this, you know, we're designed as humans to communicate and connect, and, we need to treat people with what I say does the platinum rule. And I'm sure you've heard of the golden rule, but the platinum rule I like to say is treat everyone how you would like to be treated. And then recognize that the platinum rule takes it one step further and says treat others how they want to be treated. So that's why I went through a lot of this is so that you can understand how do you build that rapport with individuals? How do you respect individuals? How do you understand their frame of reference so that you can easily add in that belonging and get to trust communicating? We've got I don't have the ability to do videos here, but, there are some various theme songs that you can work through like the eye of the tiger is is this one.

They be brief, direct, and to the point. Ask the what, not the how questions. Focus on the results. The I wired person, don't do all the talking. They love to hear themselves talk, but don't ignore their ideas either. And, you know, allow time for them to socialize in the beginning of the meeting, but then you need to follow-up with the details in the right in the follow-up writing. It's better to have short discussions than one long forty minute discussion. Keep them very focused. With the s's, the s wired individuals, create that friendly tone for the discussion. Show interest in them as a person. Don't be overly aggressive. That's just gonna shut people down, and give them time to adjust to any changes. These are some of the I my kids are I have a few s's where I tell them in advance. Okay. In a year, this is what we're doing.

In six months, six months later, guess what? In six months, we've got six months left in this plan. This is what we're doing. How have you been thinking through this? So I give them enough notice. I realize in teams, you can't always do that, but give them enough notice that they can work through and just mentally prepare. And then with your c, you've got, you this is a person again, you wanna provide all the details. The more details, the better. Give them that context, but yet be patient with them and allow them to ask questions and answer all their questions. So I work through all this. This is the DISC because once we know how someone is wired, we can build even deeper relationships and deeper connections, which helps us get to back to our equation.

How are you acknowledging their frame of reference? What did they do today to come up to the, to the table, to the team meeting? Are they looking a little bit more disheveled today than they did yesterday when you were on a call with them? Guess what? That is a number one clue. Okay. Yesterday, you were very polished. Today, you're not very polished. Something happened. Maybe we need to ask a little bit more. How was your day? How were the kids? How was the conversation with your boss? Understand what's driving them because that frame of reference is gonna help you understand mentally where they are when they're coming to your team discussion. And then we talked a lot about the respect and the rapport and asking the belonging.

So, there's a lot to unpack here and I'm I know we have, ten minutes left. I know we don't have an open q and a, but if you do have any questions that you wanna ask, I'm happy to take them in the chat and address them as we move forward here. So questions let's see. The question I have is what does taking advantage of this type hang on a This type I can't read it. This type of something look like I don't know, Christy, if you have a better you asked that about thirteen few minutes ago. So I'm not sure what you mean by that. Being asked to take on too many tasks because you're always willing. Yes. That is a challenge. Mhmm. So other questions. How would you use this in your team, as you're getting to know new team members or you're stepping in and having conversations with team members, is this a helpful equation for you to recognize that maybe if we follow this, we can give you the tools to be able to build relationships stronger in your team.

Alright. Well, it sounds like then from, the limited number of questions that we have, I will, unless you have anything else, I will let you get back to your conference. And, I know that there may be an opportunity for you to listen to the recording. You're always welcome to listen to the recording. You're willing to, if you're willing to, connect with me on LinkedIn, I'm always open to new connections. I do a lot of training on transformation and organizational change and elevating your influence. And if that's something that's of interest to you, again, connect with me on LinkedIn. Always happy to have a a side conversation.

But I pray and hope that this was a meaningful, presentation for